 Earlier this year, I wrote about my attempt at bettering my personal record in the marathon. Without spoiling the drama, I think we all know that I would have blabbed a personal best the moment it happened. This, then, would be the excuse post, where I explain how my training was a little off or how it was too hot. I could conclude by saying how confident I am that I'll get 'em next time.
Well fuck that script. I'm just going to tell the truth: I sucked out there. Sucked hard.
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 Holiday tidings to the eleven or so people who regularly read this blog. 'Tis the season for sharing one of my fondest memories from my days as a catholic schoolboy.
Let me just get this out of the way: If there's a god and it's insecure, I'm definitely going to hell. Full disclosure: I was kicked out of catholic school after 1.5 tumultuous years of grade school shenanigans. Technically, I wasn't exactly booted, but at the end of fifth grade it was made clear that I wasn't exactly welcome back. Imagine, for a moment, just how terrible you have to be for a private school to no longer want your money. Then again, by the start of fifth grade, ten-year-old Noah had begun equating the church to a business that provides no services; I was a danger had to be eliminated.  Once, as some sort of retarded joke, I changed my facebook relationship status from 'In A Relationship' to 'It's Complicated'. Susan was not amused. This is a woman who once tolerated me loudly asking our guide when the group would be getting snacks... in the middle of a spelunking trip. Why, then, would she be so insecure about a line of code on a website? I THINK it's because the facebook status has become the bellwether of our remantic lives. As such, it seems as though we have some responsibility to up our game when it comes to keeping our fingers on the electronic pulse of all the relationships out there.
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Noah's Inner MonologueScribblings of a man who can barely operate an idiotproof website. Archives
August 2018
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